Quotes 2018

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Remember, please use the format "Quote" - Person and put the quote under the correct subheading to make it easier and more consistent to read. For each individual course, please use Sub-heading 3 (CTRL+5). If you put obscure quotes into General then they will just be moved into In-Jokes. You can toggle italics on and off using CTRL+I (or CMD+I on Mac).

Session 1

General

  • "No eggs, no peace" - Game Theory class (repeating) when they (mostly Michael) couldn't eat raw eggs
  • "In the Land of Nod..." - a lot of people
  • "There are sheep in a field" - also a lot of people
  • "I have a hat..." - again, a lot of people
  • "T-Pose!" - Everyone
  • "no u", "your mom is...", "your face is..." - everyone especially Pádraig and Dáithí and Fiachra
  • "Show your love - not in the physical sense" - Colm O'Reilly

Students

  • "Wixford Wecklow border" - Pádraig
  • "Everyone with hair and glasses looks the same to me" - Pingu
  • "Hadoukink" - Finley
  • "If it's about the hokeypokey it's an in-out-in-out-shake-it-all-about-joke" - Pádraig
  • "What's a ganja" - Laura
  • "Always hash first" - Finley
  • "Cormac (RA) must really like little boys" -Dara
  • "I feel like a hairbrushing gremlin" -Aislinn
  • "I keep a little black man in my pocket" - Kenneth
  • "If you put it in a fire, it'll castrate the wound" - James
  • "I'm like a gay sugar daddy" -David
  • "The magic dick of heterosexuality" -Hannah
  • "There are two things you can do, and you can choose who you do them to" - Fionn
  • "Does Bruno Mars is gay?" -Daithí
  • "You're blowing yourself" - Padraig (to Bubbles)
  • "We can still fit many kinks into that hour" - Finley
  • "This is my hidden gay. It's like assassin's creed, but gayer" - Michael
  • "I don't want to be penetrated by Pingu" - Mongolian
  • "Something doesn't have to be long to feel long" - Evan (3)
  • "Put a tattoo on my ass saying 'insert deck here'" - Michael
  • "You don't suck you just lick" - Dónal
  • "Why is that boy dressed like a german midget" - Liadáin
  • "David Bulgie" - Daniel
  • "Eating crisps in a roll is the same as eating children in a roll" - Pingu
  • "Squirt it in my face" - Dáithí
  • "Just because I'm a Nazi doesn't mean I'm racist" - Traolach
  • "That's a fuckin' strange dildo" - Fiach
  • "That's cookie rape" - Ciarán
  • "Oh wait, Hebrew is Jew!" - Traolach
  • "I got tired of using my hands" - Evan(3)
  • "Yeetus that fetus" - Michael
  • "At breakfast I just like to put something in me" - Evan (3)
  • "Japan is two dildos" - Fiach
  • "I did native Americans" - Evan
  • "Quote me, like one of your French girls" - Michael
  • "Dragon Ball is just a bunch of constipated men screaming" - Michael
  • "They both look good without a shirt riding a bear" - Evan(3)
  • "Hold it more gently" - Finley
  • "I don't think she shifted anyone before" - Oisín
  • "What are you?" - Aislinn, talking about hogwarts houses "Luke, you weirdos" - Luke
  • "casual classmateville" - David
  • "I'm a prostitute farmer - I literally sell my eggs" - Aoife
  • "Hey Mom David's a whore" - Hannah (while Anna was on the phone to her Mom)
  • "Not many people can say that Vladimir Putin got in the middle of their marriage" - Hannah
  • "Hickey Buddies!" - Haritha
  • "Patrick I can assure you nobody wants to see your penis" - Luke
  • "Someone shits in my mouth *one time* - Kenneth
  • "Are you asking me if I drink my own piss" - Kenneth
  • "I'm just smelling my knees" - Niamh
  • "Minty Fresh Cum stain" -Evan(3)
  • "I bless the rains down in ballymun" - Charlie Foster (to Toto's Africa)
  • "We're single-handedly causing the drought" - Aidan (also to Africa, when I read the above quote to him)
  • "I'm a swaggy foetus" - Aisling
  • "WONDERWALL!!" - Emmet during every god damn song
  • "The keyboard side of the accordion is Daniel and the accordion side of the accordion is you" - Lian
  • "Cyberbully me" - Alex
  • "Drake's not a real rapper, he's Canadian" - some random fucker heard in the quad
  • "Not to misgender you but YOU THOT" - Bubbles
  • "Oh no, my beans" - Cónán
  • "Mozilla Firefox" - Gerry
  • "If you're leaving the canteen, don't forget my gay" - Eoin M to Alana
  • "I'm getting fucking pounded here" - Valeria
  • "I colonised the transgender" - Bubbles
  • "If you have a wound that's big enough to stick a dick in, you probably have more problems than HIV" - Noel
  • "C.E.A.R.T.A!!" - several people, many times
  • "You're not boneless, you're just bonerless" - Bubbles (to August)
  • "Imagine having energy, that'd be nice" - Caoimhe Mackman
  • "Stuff me your stuff" - Caoimhe M
  • "i'm just not soaking up any information" - Caoimhe M
  • "Are you proud of me?" - Tara B "NO, it's only a minor accomplishment Tara, I don't think it's necessary to be boasting about it" - Caoimhe M
  • "I just don't look like a picture" - Ava B
  • "Can I play with you?" - Caoimhe M "I'll put you on my schedule" - Tara B
  • "What are the lamps on the ceiling called?" - Jackson. "Lights?" - Tara B
  • "Who goes into the vagina leg first?" - Michael
  • "He was caught issing a man" - Tara (talking about JB) "Where in the Bible does it say that?!" - Siobhan B. "Oh wait I thought we were talking about Jesus"

Courses

CTYI

Biomedical Engineering
Clinical Psychology
  • "Arsonists, artists, and autists" - Daniel (in reference to the title of his group research project)
  • "And your toilet says that you're a heroin addict, like no, she just really likes bagels" - Noel
  • "All huddled together like babies in a coffin" - Noel
  • "Twins are just human plagiarism" - Eva
  • "The B in BDSM stands for Bosco" - Eva
  • "That is true, but they did just get people and throw them into the Alps?" - Ben
  • "how many pages does it have" - Doireann, talking about the DSM. "Like 900?" - Tara "That's like the Bible isn't it?" - Doireann
  • "You are no longer Noel, you are ANXIETY BOY"
Computer Gaming
  • "Stop being a scrumbag" - Aisling
  • "EMPTY CHILD" - lots of people
Game Theory
  • "Tic tac toe - Battle Royale" - Cónán
  • "Give his elbow a hickey!" - Cónán
  • "Papa smurf has replaced me" - Dylan
  • "I'm playing with you like a bean" - Fergus
  • "Stick homeless people to the Dáil" - Michael
  • "Three baas for pleasure" - Michael
  • "Lubricate the North!" - Alisha on Snapchat, then everyone all the time
  • "Joe, the second option is to lubricate the North" - Brian (TI)
  • "At least that's feasibly possible" - Joe (TA)
  • "It's not sexual, I just want you to go away" - Alisha to Fergus
  • "Not only is it true about teen love, it can can also be mathematically proven" - Brian (TI)
  • "The Mongols can do anything" - Casey
  • "You then go see the naked fat guy in Statue D" - Brian (TI)
  • "I've had coke but not intimacy" - Anonymous
  • "This may be a personal belief among mathematicians but i'm right" - Brian (TI)
  • "You can roll my dice for free" - Fergus
  • "The bigger the matrix the bigger my boner" - Eoin M
  • "What sorta teeth are in vaginas?" - Michael
  • "Michael Flatley invented the dab" - Bob
  • "Bob! Bob! Come buy my goods! Promote me, Bob!" - a Kenyan woman called Prius then Mollie
  • "Whose anal tract goes in a zigzag formation?" - Eoin M
  • "I'm sexually attracted to Dublin Bus" - Eoin M
  • "I'm a well-mannered rapist" - Michael
  • "James Franco isn't a Spanish dictator" - Alana
  • "It's all about the blacks" - Michael
  • "Hey! If you're making a swastika you can't be using MY tinfoil!" - Mollie to Casey
  • "Will you meet my casual classmate?" - Alisha
  • "That's so straight" - Conn, disparagingly
  • "Is aloof not when your dick sticks up?" - Mickey
    • "No, Mick that's an erection" - Mollie
    • "No, that's when it gets hard" - Mickey
    • "What the fuck kind of dick do you have?!"- Alisha
  • "Are sandals like condoms for feet" - Cónán
  • "Come over here and I'll show you my B. I. G. balls" - Mickey
  • "It only costs €400 to show a child my dick" - Max
  • "Just keep the idea in your head that Brian is hung for the whole day" - Fergus
  • "I think Brian has a large penis" - Fergus
  • "Can Bob read it? He has a sensual voice" - Eoin M
  • "Take your pants off" - Cónán
    • "That's going in the report" - Joe (TA)
  • "Oh, she's looking well in this one. You want to look Joe?" - Mickey
    • "Are you looking at sheep" - Joe (TA)
  • Cónán, will you be my casual classmate with benefits?" - Alisha
    • "Stop saying things like that when I'm in earshot" - Joe (TA)
International Relations
  • "I support the Katy genocide" -Katie
  • "Vote Patrick" -Patrick
  • "Free weed for all" -Benelux Coalition
  • "We stand for far more than just free weed" -Patrick
  • "What's your name again?" "The Netherlands" -Niall & Fionn
  • "Oh no we broke Adam" -Everyone, day 3.
  • "You don't speak dutch, it's not productive" -Hannah
  • "I'd fake the plague for you" -Hannah to Ciara
  • "Melons.. isn't a conversation you should have in your sleep" -Finn
  • "We'll discuss the fact that Myanmar is calling itself Greater Vietnam at a later date" -Cathal
  • "France, stop having a civil war for once in your goddamn lives" -Cathal
  • "You're greater than my pyjamas" -Ciara to Hannah
  • "Women shouldn't be in politics" -Niall
  • "We're destabilising the economy through the hostile takeover of the snapple market" -Cathal
  • "That was fricken' sweet" -Adam
  • "France -no civil wars" -Thamil
  • "I'm with France -by force, not by choice" -Iuliana
  • "We stand for far more than just free weed" -Patrick
  • "We don't speak Dutch, it's not productive” -Hannah
  • "Is Eddie Murphy from Donegal?" -Niall
  • "How is Niall in CTYI if he doesn't know the days of the week?" -Iuliana (Part 1)
  • "I don't have any milk.." "..oh I'll make milk" -Sarah Jane & Iuliana
  • "Toilet girl" -Thamil to Iuliana
  • "I didn't know what communism was last year" -Iuliana
  • "I don't know the months either..." "Shut up!" -Iuliana and Niall (Part 2)
  • "Obviously it's up for debate, except it's not" -Niall
  • "Don't take things from people" -Niall on colonialism (After taking the quotes book from Iuliana)
  • "Our country's better than yours, God save the Queen, let's go squash everyone" -Seamus
  • "Nazi Germany had a good economy" -Ronan
  • "Is the plural of toothbrush teethbrushes" -Cathal
  • "Like the Lord himself, I rose again.. don't quote me" -Adam
  • "I stan the electoral college" -Marianne
  • "I'm so hollow." -Thamil, on Germany losing in the world cup.
  • "If you're mute you shouldn't be in politics." -Cathal
  • "ARE YOU SAYING KATY ISN'T A MILF?" -Ciara
  • "What about me, the annoying brother I'd like to fuck? -Ronan
  • "You can go as deep as you want, no one cares" -Katy
  • "GrandDADDY" -Nick
  • "If I catch any of you fuckers speaking Dutch, you're all getting beaten" -Katy (Susan)
  • "This is colonialism" -All\
  • "I want to discuss Russia" "That falls under the voting system of America." -Max and Thamil
  • "For the UNs entire existence, there hasn't been a world war 3, but in my existence, there hasn't been a world war 3, did I save the world?" -Aidan
  • "You get a nuke, you get a nuke, you all get a nuke" -Cathal
  • "Niall yells (10 hour loop)" -Ciara
  • "Niall ASMR" -Seamus
  • "Someone make an autotune remix of Niall yelling" -Ronan
  • "IR but every time Niall talks, it gets faster" -Katy
  • "Nuke me daddy" -Ella Q
  • "The Red Croissant" -Seamus
  • "Why are you jerking off the pen? And your technique isn't that great either." -Seamus 1
  • "Deal with it" -Adam
  • "Kinky Swinky" -Seamus 2
  • "Stop kinkshaming my marshmallow fetish" -Jennifer
  • "Don't break my arm sculpture" -(Ciara couldn't figure out what this said)
  • "All quotes make me look bad" -Niall
  • "Hesitance is consent" -Niall
  • "Niall is racist" -Almost everyone
  • "Oh shit, I'm gonna hit the kid" -Niall
  • "This is my third nut today" -Cathal
  • "I'm gay for tea" "Yeah I'd fuck a teacup" -Cathal and Marianne
  • "Don't ever throw a tampon applicator at me again" -Ciara
  • "I'm gonna vote Katy because I want to be the superior Katie" -Katie
  • "I'd fake the plague for you" -Hannah to Ciara
  • "Melons.. Is not a conversation you should have in your sleep" -Finn
  • "We'll discuss the fact tht Myanmar is calling itself greater Vietnam at a later date" -Cathal
  • "France stop having a civil war for once in your goddamn life" -Cathal
  • "Jesus your ass is.. grass" -Nick
  • "i'm gonna take a shower cause I'm a sweaty bitch" -Ella
  • "I'm not talking until I have a horse." -Patrick
  • "I am not a quote" -Nick
  • "I don't want a lawyer, I just want a horse." -Patrick
  • "Ha I'm the best at building sex dungeons!" -Finn
  • "How are we supposed to trust the UN when we can't even trust them with orange juice?" -Nic
  • "While you were all criticising me for my flannel, I was studying the blade. Now that it's cold you have the audacity to turn to me for warmth?" -Ciara
  • "I pity your future girlfriend in regards to the size of your hands" -Ella Q to Cathal
  • "Is a manatee a pokemon?" -Shemie
  • "Uwu human rights xD" -Marianne
  • "Don't bust the D, it'll make a mess and ruin the surprise" -Niall
  • "The magic dick of heterosexuality" -Hannah
  • "I don't wanna choke myself, that's too much effort" -Hannah
Japanese Language & Culture
  • "WHY JAPANESE PEOPLE WHY" - Everyone
  • "Arabic is a sexy language" - Liadáin
  • "I'm leaving you for a curvier alphabet" - Liadáin
  • "I really get off to the Quran" - Liadáin
  • "What was the quote again? Blame the jews?" - Pádraig "Always" - Aidan
  • *says anything* - Liadáin "Quote" - Everyone
  • "To lead you from damnation" - Finley "Dalmation or damnation" - Evan
  • "My mum told me to be a stripper" - Liadáin
  • "That makes sense because box has four side" - Ciarán
  • "Only halogen light shines gorgeously" - Ciarán
  • "This is sweden" - Pádraig (referring to a bottle)
  • "Can I express my feelings towards food?" - Enda
  • "You limb midget!" - Aishling
  • "We don't talk about swish German" - Aishling
  • "That's like saying I identify as Jesus" - Aisling
  • "An honourable toilet" - Finley
  • "It kind of pisses people off when you kill them" - Aidan
  • "It is in an elevated position" - Aidan
  • "Tell me one time you have not enjoyed crushing the entire continent of North America as El Salvador" - Ciarán
  • "I think I fit well in sake. Please daddy." - A Japanese menu.
  • "Is he deaf now" - Evan
Law
  • "You guys are the reason God is an alcoholic”- Charlie
  • ”There were ten gays and a question mark”- Senator David Norris
  • ”Seagulls can’t set fires, Nicole”- Beth
  • ”I’d sleep with Ireland”- Zac
  • ”At least you don’t look like it’s your fucking baby shower”- Theresa
  • ”Thats terrible fucking squeezing”- Nicole
  • ”You know what they should make? A book on how to read”- Beth
  • ”I have so much glitter in my cleavage” *a week later* “there’s still glitter in my tits”- Alex Sheridan
  • “If someone’s an atheist then cannibalism is okay”
  • ”If you shoot a gun on O’Connell street at 5 am are you liable to be charged with murder?” “Yes” “no because there’s no one there” “I’ll find them”- Charlie and Ines
  • ”If you run over someone’s toe with your car that sounds like a them problem not a you problem”- Beth
  • ”Stick your dick in a USB port”- Zac
  • ”Now I really wanna commit tax fraud”- Zac
  • ”I’m not gonna eat my father’s eggs”- Emma
  • ”Dead people can be bitchy”- Emma
  • ”We should bully the sun until it commits suicide”- Ríona
  • ”I’m sexually attracted to buttons working”- Zac
  • ”I feel like God himself threw me to the bottom of the ocean, made me fuck a single piece of coral and then dragged me back up again”- Beth
  • “If you’re negative you’re not invited”- Charlie
  • ”I am not constipated!”- Nicole
  • ”They always ask who’s Daddy’s little slut never how’s Daddy’s little slut”- Alex Sheridan
  • *In cross examination* “First off, I’d like to start by saying you are the most unremorseful son of a bitch”- Alex Mulvahill
Medicine A
  • "Not tonight David, I've a headache" - Oisín in mafia
  • "God can give me yogurt but he can't bring my Dad back" - Patrick
  • "You're no good at chair-swinging! You should go back to chair-swinging school!" - Cormac
  • "Do you know what the next Kahoot question will be Cillian? Where is your body?" - Patrick
  • "Spread your legs and lift your sack, we're going in through the backdoor" - Oisín
  • "You die of AIDS not HIV" - Conor
  • "Does Crohn's disease affect your fighting ability?" - Cillian
  • "One of your previous partners has HIV" - Patrick
  • "Liam should probably know whether or not his wife has HIV or not depending on when he got with his mistress" - Cillian
  • "I would be the biggest, hungest 8 year old there ever was" - Cillian
  • "What can you hold, but never touch or use your hands? " - Eoin (TI)
  • "I bled for you and this is what you give me?" - Cormac D
  • "I will do stuff to you in your room tonight because you were mean" - Cillian
  • "Please, don't ever give the graffiti treatment" - Cormac
  • "I'm on the peace side too" - Níamh
  • "We're urine free and ready to go" - Catherine
  • "I hope those two things aren't related" - Oisín
  • "Let's say I want to get a colonoscopy" - Eoin
Medicine B
  • ”Everyones like dying over here can i move”-Ben
  • “Sometimes if it’s really bad, you’d have an emergency cabbage”-Rían(TI)
  • “Surgery is a fun place”-Rían(TI)
  • “Australia doesn’t exist”-Atlas
  • “The world is a dodecahedron”-Conor
  • “Medicine is a lie all you need is yeet and a good sesh”-Avril
  • “Matthew, you’re useless”-Rían(TI)
  • “Are we gonna watch cars 2?!”-Tom
  • ”Smack it until it’s blue”-Ben
  • ”Stop watching pornography”-Tom
  • “I wasnt talking to you ,wait in line for your insult”-Avril
  • “you may gently yeet the bottle”-Rían (TI)
  • “Soo Avril how is you’re sister”- Matthew
  • “You need to say yeet, or else it wont work”-Ben
  • “it is shaped like a sickle, which is used to harvest the wheat which makes mother Russia great”-Rían (TI)
  • “so will i walk up you”-Conor (to ben)
  • “Anythings harrasment if you try hard enough”-Avril
  • “Were there bad words in the email”-Rossa
  • “All the weebs can have pokenoodles”-Avril
  • ”I was snorting polo mints at the back of the class”-Tom
  • “Thats what a retard would say”-Adam
  • ”I love that movie” ( “what movie”-sadhbh) “ the thorax”-Ben
  • “They used to lick babies to see if they were salty”-Rían(TI)
  • “i bettcha i was a salty baby”-Ben
  • “I’m not lubricating anything”-Sadhbh
  • “Wait i thought we were talking about salty babies”-Ava
  • “Rían was talking about sex and i’m just here licking my pringles”-Ben
  • “A homozygous cell is not a gay cell”-Rían (TI)
  • “Look at the cactus, they’re all absolute pricks”- Ben
  • “Im cutting off a womans hair while shes asleep ,go away”-Tom
Neuroscience A
Neuroscience B
  • "I have less tendons therefore I am more evolved" - Naoise
  • ”Sorry don’t mean to flex on y’all but...” *flexes tendons* - Sofia
  • “I can’t draw anything but porn” - Hermione
  • “I can get you a bunch of bitcoin if you sell me your kidneys” - Jack
  • “There’s no cure for caucasianism” - Sarah
  • *sneezes* “DEMENTIA” - Hippocrates (paraphrased by Hermione)
  • ”Where is my brain, Jim?” - Lily May
  • ”Is Nokia the new transgender?” - Jack
  • ”I go from weenis to penis” - Sofia
  • ”Ape like indentation” - Everyone
  • ”Platonically” - Everyone
  • “I didn’t pay my taxes because I’m criminally insane” - Finn
  • ”To infinity and BE GONE” *gunshot sounds* - Hermione
  • “If you don’t crack your toes, I don’t think we can be friends” - Sarah
  • “Can we do a Kahoot on terrorism?” - Naoise
  • ”My hair is squiggly” - Eva
  • “Is there ASMR porn?” - Hermione
  • ”The rain smells burnt” - Naoise
  • ”Flat Stanley needs viagra” - Jack
  • ”He doesn’t sound like a human he soundscape like a Viking” - Sarah
Novel Writing
  • "It's like the KKK ... but not" - Haritha (referring to her character's all black street gang)
  • "Can't you like hedgeschool us?" - Luke to Claire (TI) during the infamous power surge
  • "Harrison, my lover boy" - Luke
  • "What sauce is in this chicken curry?" - Luke "Curry sauce" - Úna
  • ""Adam Blade"" - Everyone
  • "The London Underground is an eldridge abomination" - Kenneth
  • "This sounds like an evil Thomas the Tank Engine" - Catherine and Ais
  • "Legs closed, bibles open" - Group Novel
  • "unsanitary erotica" - Haritha
  • "Foetus deletus" - Luke
  • "PF Chang's" "Mongolian beef that’s hand-carved right before it hits the wok" - Sean (mainly)
  • "And there's an element of bestiality... " - Haritha *Claire (TI) strikes idea from board*
Robotics
Theoretical Physics A
  • "Einstein was a great set of instances." -Barry
  • "The Qur'an was more true than that theory." -Callum
  • "Does 0 equal infinity?." -Callum
  • "That's just a theory" -Dara "Gravity is a theory." -Barry *Drops book
  • "So males are better at incest" - Jack

CAT

RAs, TAs and Teachers

  • "If my pet is vaping pet flavoured vape, I want him to be able to say 'I enjoyed this'" - Sam RA
  • "That was fricken' sweet" -Adam TA after a fricken' sweet hat throw
  • “Groovy” - Claire TI
  • "Please don't eat each other's parents" - Steve 先生
  • "I like to live dangerously, as you can tell from my kindle jacuzzi time - Sam RA
  • "No, you can microwave the drugs, you just can't talk about them" - Daddy Gucci
  • "You have to pull their tongue to get it out of them" - Steve 先生
  • "Despacito is such a 2017 thing" - Ciaran (TA) after Despacito was sang mercilessly during class
  • "They're not people, they're foreigners" - Steve 先生
  • "You do you as long as you're not doing them" - Niamh RA
  • "That was a tangent" - Steve 先生
  • "lolololol" - Steve 先生 on the computer
  • "Which lord is a hamburger?" - Steve 先生
  • "Boys can't get boys gay" - Genevieve (RA)
  • "Inappropriate Spanish note-passing" - Joe (TA)
  • ”It’s not bullying if there’s a ten year age gap” - Siobhán (TA)
  • ”You insult yourself and I’ll beat you up” - Siobhán (TA)
  • ”No terrorism. It’s a bit rude” - Siobhán (TA)

In-Jokes

  • "Odhrán is the best!" -Padraig to everyone
  • The Cereal Video - Theo

DND in michael's room

  • "What happens in 14a stays in 14a" - Kenneth
  • "DND in more ways than one" - Finley
  • "Are you proficient in halfling throwing?" - Kenneth
  • "Which staff?" - Fergus

Session 2

General

Students

Courses

CTYI

Child Psychology
Computer Animation
Computer Science
Criminology
Film Studies
Genetics and Cell Biology
Law
Marine Biology
Maths Experience
Medicine
Philosophy
Sci Fi & Fantasy Writing
Sports Science
Radio, TV & Digital Communications

CAT

RAs, TAs and Teachers

In-Jokes